


Don't Come Home For Christmas

by chchchchcherrybomb, vinegar-and-glitter (vinegarandglitter)



Series: One of a Kind [4]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Bisexuality, Catholic Guilt, Christmas, Clones, Dyad Institute, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, Family Drama, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jewish Character, Orphan Black AU, Roman Catholicism, Suicide, Zoe doesn't know about clone club
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 06:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14302638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chchchchcherrybomb/pseuds/chchchchcherrybomb, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinegarandglitter/pseuds/vinegar-and-glitter
Summary: The holidays were a hectic time. Zoe was bringing her girlfriend Hannah home for Christmas, Hannah was gearing up to start an internship at the DYAD Institute where she'd be working with Evan, and everything ought to start falling into place.But of course it wasn't.





	Don't Come Home For Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Pairs with "One of a Kind" Chapter 34 - Now.

Hannah spent a few days at home over break. 

It was a relief to take some time away from school and work. There had been something extremely satisfying about walking into Angelo’s Pizzeria and quitting, a big smile on her face, saying she had accepted a paid internship at the DYAD Institute. No more long nights listening to podcasts between deliveries, no more meat-scented car, no more chugging energy drinks to keep herself alert at all hours. 

She knew this internship was going to be hard work. When she told her advisor about it, he’d smiled and suggested that maybe she rethink her sixteen credit semester. But Hannah, quite honestly, was up for the challenge. It sure as hell couldn’t be worse than 25 hours a week delivering pizzas for no money and fewer tips on top of classes. Pizza deliveries on campus sometimes meant she worked until three or four in the morning. 

So this DYAD gig? It couldn’t be worse than all of these all nighters. It couldn’t be worse than almost sleeping through her first ever final at a proper university because she had been working late. She was still eternally grateful that Zoe had thought to knock on her door and wake her up. 

So now, break had started, and Hannah had a few days to hang around her mom’s house before she was driving to spend Christmas with Zoe’s family. 

Hannah’s mom had frowned when Hannah had explained that she was joining the Murphys for Christmas. “Christmas?”

“Zoe’s Catholic. Barely.”

Her mother wrinkled her nose, then said, smiling, “Well. Catholics make good Jews, you know.”

Hannah sighed. She knew she never should have told her mom about the stereotype that lesbians moved fast; now she was expecting a wedding before Hannah graduated. Daniel laughed at their mom, and Hannah rolled her eyes. It was nice to be home. 

Her mom had taken the whole gay thing in stride when Hannah came out her junior year of high school. Her mom asked a lot of questions, but then she just… adjusted. Stopped trying to find Hannah nice boys at temple to date, and opted to ask after girls instead. Hannah recalled almost choking on her wine at passover last year when her grandma casually announced that Esther Goldblatt's daughter Shoshana was “gay now.” 

Hannah had gone on one extremely awkward date with Shoshana that Spring. Shosh was sweet and cute, but truth be told, she and Hannah didn’t have a whole lot in common. Hannah was drumming in a friend’s punk band at the time, and Shoshana asked, genuinely, if Hannah liked Harry Styles’s new punk songs. Hannah wasn’t the sort of person who judged people who listened to Harry Styles… but she was the sort of person who didn’t go on second dates with girls if she had nothing in common with them. 

She wanted, badly, to take Zoe out on a proper date. Not just border hopping or getting Thai food or bringing a pizza that nobody wanted home at the end of the night and eating it in front of Netflix. Hannah was having fantasies about nice dinners and being able to say things like “sure, let’s have a  _ bottle _ of wine” and being able to pick up cute things that reminded her of Zoe just because. 

Another perk of Hannah’s new internship with DYAD? They paid like. A lot. For a college internship, especially. Hannah still didn’t know how she landed it; she’d been pretty nervous at her interview, and just as she got there she noticed there was a typo on her resume (a small one, but she would probably feel haunted by “resourcefull” two l’s until she’d had the job for the entire semester). But Hannah mentioned Zoe’s friend Evan, and her interview’s face lit up. 

Hannah guessed that there must actually be something to that whole networking idea. 

After dinner with her mom and Daniel ended, the three of them changed into pajamas and watched  _ Eight Crazy Nights.  _ It was a truly tragic animated Hanukkah film that Adam Sandler had made back in the early 2000s. Hannah’s dad had made the mistake of letting her and Dan watch it when they were little, thinking it was a wholesome movie about the holiday and then paid the price because the two of them carried on for weeks singing the most offensive lines at top volume. It had become something of a tradition for them all to watch it during the holiday and laugh at how awful it was. Hannah hadn’t been home during Hanukkah this year, so they agreed to watch when she got home. It took a few tries because her mom worked nights, but eventually they all watched the movie together.

As the credits rolled, Hannah checked her phone, seeing a text from Zoe. It read, “Can’t wait for you to get here. Parents are driving me crazy.”

Hannah smiled at her phone. “I’ll be there soon.”

Daniel nudged her. “Girlfriend?” And then he snatched her phone, taking an ugly selfie and sending it to Zoe before Hannah had mustered up the energy to smack him. 

“Cute,” she said drily. “I’ll let her know to set that as her lockscreen.”

Daniel stuck his tongue out at her. 

He was doing a lot better. Things had been pretty touch and go after their dad died. Daniel missed almost an entire semester of his freshman year of high school because he was acting out so hard. He got caught selling pot at school and ended up having to do community service as part of the sentence he got. Daniel was part of the reason Hannah lived at home last year. She wanted to make sure things had really settled before she went away for college. 

And they had, for the most part. Daniel had a good counselor now that he saw regularly. He transferred to a different school, one district over, and made a bunch of friends on their Academic Decathlon team. It was great. Hannah was really proud of him. 

Her phone buzzed, a text from Zoe. “Is that your brother? He’s cute.”

“Told you she’d be into me,” Daniel quipped, and that time Hannah did swat him upside the head, lightly.

“You’re beyond underage. Gross.”

Hannah texted Zoe, saying that, yeah, Daniel thought he was funny. 

“Aren’t most brothers like that?” Zoe responded. 

That made Hannah frown. She never knew exactly what to say when Zoe mentioned her brother Connor. She knew he had passed away when Zoe was sixteen. She knew he committed suicide. 

Zoe didn’t like to talk about it. She didn’t like being the girl with the dead brother. 

Hannah didn’t blame her. She hated being the girl with the dead dad. 

So Hannah didn’t know a whole lot about her brother. 

Once, not long after they had gotten together, Hannah and Zoe had been curled up on Zoe’s futon, playing a game of twenty questions… that had really turned into a game where they interviewed each other. It had been… really fucking intimate, honestly. But Hannah loved it. It made her feel so much closer to Zoe. 

“What’s the weirdest crush you’ve ever had?” Zoe asked. 

Hannah had to think about it. “By weird, do you mean like… Odd? Or inappropriate?” 

“Either way.”

Hannah nodded. “Probably Gloria, my dad’s hospice nurse?” Hannah admitted, feeling her face and ears get warm. “It was horrible. I’m fifteen, my dad is dying, and… Damn, Gloria was just. So beautiful, you know? She had this long dark hair that I always thought was probably really soft. I think part of it was just that she was helping to keep dad comfortable, you know? But still. I crushed hard for a few months. I even thought about volunteering there after my dad died so I could see her again.”

Zoe smiled at her, understanding. “I get it.”

“You?” Hannah asked. 

Zoe bit her lip. “Okay, but you can’t get jealous.”

Hannah nodded. Jealousy was rare for her. 

“I had a crush on Evan for a while?” Zoe said, sighing. “He was like… best friends with Connor, right? But I only ever got to know him once Connor died. And he was just… so sweet, you know? And he just got it. How mixed up and shitty everything was for a while. And he kind of… like took care of me, a bit? Like I could just show up at his house and we’d watch bad television and he’d let me vent about whatever, like… my parents or school or Connor.” She shrugged. “I still didn’t… exactly know what to make of the whole being bi thing, and honestly part of me is still pretty convinced that Evan and Connor weren’t just friends, but. I dunno. For a while I had a little crush on him.”

Hannah had smiled then, nodding. “It makes sense. I get it.”

Zoe nodded, smiling back. 

“But if you want, I can puff out my chest and get all possessive? Maybe call Evan up and schedule a fight behind a Denny’s at four in the morning?”

“I might like to see that,” Zoe said, laughing. “I could get some snacks beforehand too.”

Hannah had collapsed into a giggling heap then.

* * *

 

Zoe could never sleep when she was here. The new house just… wasn’t home, not really. It still smelled a bit like fresh paint (her parents were still in the process of redecorating) and new carpet. It wasn’t home. Not really. Zoe’s bedroom was just a guest bedroom with Zoe’s stuff in it. She hadn’t picked out the ashy colored paint on the walls or the duvet on the bed or the curtains that hung over the windows. 

It wasn’t her house, her bedroom… a lot of her experience in this house was that it wasn’t her life. It was like a showroom, a floor model you’d find at IKEA. Zoe’s dorm room was starting to feel a lot more like home. That room had fairy lights and photos of her friends everywhere and the covers on her bed were purple and blue. It had her posters for the bands she liked and prints of flowers and it felt hers. 

It was also the place she had first slept with Hannah, and it was the place where she often woke up next to her too. Zoe had a few of Hannah’s sweatshirts in her closet on campus, borrowed when she was cold and never returned. 

Zoe crawled out of bed at four thirty, because she was awake and sleep wasn’t coming. Hannah would be arriving later that day. She was hitting the road at five am, Zoe knew, because it was a long drive and there was snow in the forecast. 

Zoe crept down the stairs, noting with a frown that her parents had left the lights on their Christmas tree switched on overnight. That was such a fire hazard. 

Decorating the tree had been weird this year. 

For her entire life, the Murphy Christmas tree had all of these personalized ornaments for her and Connor. There was a baby’s first Christmas for Zoe, a t-ball player for Connor, ornaments for middle school graduations and hobbies. Zoe had a guitar; Connor had one that was a huge stack of books. Their mom always made them hang up their own ornaments, and it was a whole process of unpacking them and picking out the best branches for their memories. 

Her mom and dad decided not to hang up Connor’s ornaments this year. 

“What are you going to do with them?” Zoe had asked, hanging up her Zoe’s First Christmas! Ornament, which had a picture of her chubby baby self. 

“Keep them in storage for now,” Her mom answered. “If there are any you want for your own place someday, you can have them.”

Zoe nodded. 

She didn’t know if this was a good sign, her mom purging the Connor ornaments. Zoe wondered what her grief group thought about it. Zoe assumed it was probably their idea.

Her dad didn’t say anything. 

He just stood there, frowning, drinking a glass of scotch. He kept trying to move the conversation on to other topics. He asked Zoe about her grades (fine), about her friends (she told him a funny story about how Max and Mitch moved the sofa out of the lounge on their floor and into the elevator, inviting riders to sit down so they could interview them like they were hosting a talk show… though Zoe left out the part of where Max and Mitch were utterly blotto when this happened), and finally about Hannah. 

Which caused Zoe’s mom to still suddenly with the angel tree topper in her hand. 

“Hannah’s good,” Zoe answered. “She um… she actually just accepted this cool internship? She’s going to be working on this… genetics thingy? This place called DYAD hired her.”

“DYAD?” her dad repeated, smiling. He seemed more alert, more interested then. “That’s impressive. She must be very bright.”

Zoe noticed her mother looked very uncomfortable. “I am very excited to meet your friend this week, Zoe,” her mom said. “I’m so glad you girls are… close.”

“Girlfriend,” Zoe corrected, her voice low. 

“Oh, Zoe, I forgot to mention,” Her mom pressed on, unbothered. “I invited Evan over for Christmas Eve. Heidi has to work, and I thought it might be nice to get us all together.”

Zoe wanted to protest on principle, because her mom was clearly trying to like… wave Evan and his obvious boyness in her face, trying to lure her into straightness. Joke was on her mom though, Zoe thought, seeing as Evan was as bi as she was. 

But, ultimately, having Evan at Christmas sounded great. At the very least, it meant there was somebody else to roll her eyes at when her mom got all frantic and then wine drunk or when her dad tried to dad so hard he threw out his back.

He’d done that before, back at the old house, after dragging Evan into an ill advised game of catch. He was trying to demo some kind of fancy pitch or something and ended up on the couch for the whole weekend in a lot of pain. 

 

Zoe blinked a few times, her eyes letting the Christmas tree come back into focus. Her phone buzzed. 

“Hey, I’m about to leave. See you in about four hours.”

“Drive safely,” Zoe replied. Then thought about it. “I’m excited to see you!” She added, then hit send. She was tired and cranky and couldn’t sleep, but she refused to taked that out on her girlfriend. 

“Why are you awake?”

“Can’t sleep. Too excited.”

“Does that make me Santa? ;)”

Zoe smiled. Hannah was such a dork. 

...She might be a bit in love with her. 

 

Zoe ended up falling into a fitful sleep on the sofa, because apparently staring at the Christmas tree acted as a sleep aid. When she woke up, it was to the sound of glass breaking. 

“Shit,” She heard her dad say loudly.

“You okay?” Zoe said, sitting up. 

He nodded, smiling at her. He was in flannel pajama pants and an old t-shirt, unshaven and hair rumpled. It made him look a lot younger. He looked sort of old these days. Zoe wondered if having a dead kid did that to him or if he would have looked like this anyway.  “Not awake yet, I guess. I bumped a picture frame off the wall.”

Zoe got up, nodded, and went into the kitchen to fetch a broom and grab the garbage bin. 

“Careful, you’re barefoot,” Her dad said, taking the broom. He handed over the broken frame. Zoe saw it was the the last family portrait they had taken before Connor died. He was probably barely sixteen in the photo. He’d just started to grow out his hair. Zoe still had braces.

Zoe frowned, remembering the body in the casket, hair short and different. Her mom sobbing over the body, blubbering something about how the haircut was symbolic, while Zoe felt a headache forming behind her eyes from so much crying. 

She shook her head, trying to banish the image. She tipped the frame over, shaking any shards of glass still stuck to it into the trash.

Her dad swept up the broken glass and emptied the dustpan carefully. “Let’s stash this somewhere,” He said to Zoe. “We’ll get a new frame after Christmas.”

“Good idea.” 

Larry took the picture, putting it on a shelf in their linen closet. 

Zoe followed him back into the kitchen where he said he’d make them some coffee. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” Her said said, standing at the counter and messing with their Keurig. “Hannah.”

“Okay?” Zoe really wasn’t interested in her dad being all homophobic and weird. 

“I was thinking we should set up the guest room for her.”

Zoe frowned. “Okay…?”

“Well… I know you’re dating, and I can’t control what you do when you’re off at school. You’re an adult now, but I think I would feel… a little more comfortable if she slept in the guest room.”

“Dad,  _ Jesus _ , come on,” Zoe said. 

“You’re just… you’re still  _ young _ Zoe….”

Zoe shook her head. “It’s fine. Whatever. It’s better than mom’s whole gal pals routine. She keeps acting like this is some big slumber party I’m having.”

Her dad smiled at her awkwardly. “What time is she getting here?”

Zoe checked her phone. Hannah had texted that she’d hit some traffic and pulled over for a coffee about half an hour ago. The text said she’d be there in about an hour. “Soon,” Zoe said. “I should go shower.”

Her dad nodded, smiling. “I should wake your mom. She’ll be mortified if she hasn’t burned something for breakfast by the time our guest gets here.”

“Dad!” Zoe said, snorting. “Mean.”

* * *

 

Hannah liked driving. It was a good chunk of the reason she had taken up the job as a delivery driver. Being in her car was sort of soothing. She liked to listen to podcasts or NPR while she was on long drives. She liked being able to learn something while behind the wheel. As she got closer to Zoe’s house, though,  Hannah switched on her bump up playlist. Lots of silly, girl-power types of songs. And a lot of Tegan and Sara because she was a cliche through and through. She needed to prepare herself in private.

“You treat me like your boyfriend,” Hannah sang along, her fingers drumming anxiously on the steering wheel. 

She was a little nervous about this whole Christmas thing, truth be told. Hannah had never done Christmas. Plus she was meeting Zoe’s parents… Well she had met Zoe’s dad on move in day, but it was very different to be meeting him as the  _ girlfriend.  _ She didn’t want to make a bad first impression. She’d spent twenty minutes in the gas station that morning trying to decide if she ought to wear a tie before resolving to wear it for dinner that night. 

Which was probably weird because Hannah was trying very hard not to… well. Provoke the whole “who’s the man?” conversation. There was no man. That was the whole fucking point. But straight parents often didn’t see it that way.

She laughed suddenly, remembering the meme Zoe had sent her about lesbians clipping their fingernails the day before. 

And then followed up with a picture of her own fingernails being filed down shorter. 

That had made Hannah blush. Which naturally meant that Daniel tried to swipe her phone, so she had to tackle him onto the couch. He might be almost a foot taller than she was, but she could still wrestle him and win. 

“Kiss me like your boyfriend,” She sang along, exiting the interstate, and following the GPS directions as they led her to Zoe’s parents’ place. She decided it was probably better if she didn’t mention wrestling her brother in front of them. 

She wasn’t interested in like… de-butching. Or, like, trying at playing femme. It just wasn’t  _ her _ , and she wasn’t going to pretend just to impress somebody. But Hannah knew how to edit when she had to. 

Like, for example, she was not going to mention that she had totally fallen down a google rabbit hole a few nights back, obsessively researching Zoe’s parents so she could prepare herself. It had all started with a DYAD search, but the whole thing had gotten out of control once Hannah spotted “Larry Murphy” listed as legal counsel in a patent case online… So she wasn’t going to bring that up. 

Or the fact that she’d accidentally stumbled upon Zoe’s brother’s obituary in the paper. Hannah had thought it was super strange that the paper hadn’t published a photo. In her experience, they always wanted a photo.

Hannah put that thought out of her mind, pulling into the driveway at the address Zoe had given her. She sucked in a deep breath, and then unbuckled her seatbelt and killed the ignition. She circled around to the back of her car, pulling out her duffle bag and the small bag of holiday presents she had brought along. 

Hannah took a moment to look at her hair in the reflection of her car’s windshield. She ran a hand through it, hoping to make it a little… more tame, before turning and walking up the sidewalk. 

Hannah rang the doorbell, putting on her best smile and hoping that would shake off the nerves. 

A woman with red hair and smile lines opened the door, smiling widely. “Oh you must be Hannah!” She cried, pulling Hannah in for a very unexpected and tight hug. 

“Um, yep,” She said, patting Mrs. Murphy on the back awkwardly, wishing that her hands weren’t full. “That’s me.”

“Come inside, it’s freezing,” Mrs. Murphy said. Hannah followed her into house. She paused, saying in a strangely sweet voice, “Shoes off please.”

“Of course,” Hannah said, nodding, toeing off her Chucks and trying to smile in a non-threatening way at Zoe’s mom. 

“Zoe! Your friend is here!” Mrs. Murphy called. 

Hannah’s smile sort of wilted then.  _ Friend. Cool.  _

But a second later, Zoe was rushing down the stairs, beaming, and Hannah put down her bags fast as Zoe practically flung herself into Hannah’s arms. “Hey,” Zoe said. 

“Hey.”

Zoe kissed her full on the mouth. In front of her  _ mom. _ “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Hannah said, nodding. 

“Well, Zoe, go ahead and show Hannah upstairs. Your dad says she’s staying in guest room?”

Hannah looked at Zoe quickly. Zoe pasted on a fake smile. “Yep. Come on Hannah.” Zoe grabbed the bag of presents and practically dragged Hannah up the stairs, while Mrs. Murphy called out that brunch would be ready shortly. 

“I’m sorry, she’s going to be weird.”

“That’s alright.”

Zoe kissed her again. And again. 

“Okay,” Hannah said. “Can we keep it PG, at least while your parents are home?” 

Zoe pretended to pout. “Alright, but I fully expect you naked in my bed on Christmas morning.”

Hannah knew she had started blushing. “I gotta start asking for better Hanukkah presents,” She said quietly. “All I got were some chocolate coins and a new pair of shoes.”

Zoe kissed her again. “Sorry about the guest room thing.”

“Totally fine.” Hannah thought her dad might have pulled the same shit if he was still around. 

“You should probably take a nap at some point,” Zoe said while Hannah hung up the dress shirt she had packed for that evening. “And. Shit. I forgot to warn you… My parents are in the middle of an awkward cold war over whether or not we’re going to mass.”

Hannah grinned at Zoe. “Oh boy, will they even let me in?”

“Just don’t wear your yarmulke,” Zoe said, rolling her eyes. 

Hannah laughed at her. “Am I the first Jew you’ve ever met? Usually it’s just boys who wear those. Unless you’re a rabbi, of course.”

“Huh,” Zoe said. 

“I wanted to be a rabbi when I was little,” Hannah said, smiling a little. “Literally the second I found out that girls could do it? I was like. That’s gonna be me.”

“Why’d you change your mind?”

Hannah shrugged. “Oh you know. Crisis of faith? I’m a big ol’ lesbian?” She shrugged. “My family’s reform, so they’re cool with the rainbow flag of it all… but I dunno. I don’t feel like. Called to do it or whatever.”

“Did you have a bat mitzvah?” Zoe asked. “I went to a few bar and bat mitzvahs in middle school.”

“You bet your ass I did. It was  _ Pitch Perfect  _ themed, and my friends from Hebrew school and I did an acapella number. It was tragic and so dorky,” Hannah laughed. “My mom and I had a big fight about me wearing a dress? It was cute, but so not my style. I haven’t worn one since.” 

Zoe shook her head. “I can’t picture that at all.”

“The  _ Pitch Perfect _ thing, or me in a dress?” Hannah smiled. 

“Zoe! Brunch is ready!” 

Zoe heaved a big sigh, then said, “Okay. Ready?”

Hannah smiled and nodded.

* * *

 

Brunch was okay, considering that her mom had cooked it. There were pancakes and bacon and eggs and fresh fruit, and Zoe had never been more pleased that her mom was over her gluten free and vegan phase. She was pretty sure that everything was organic, but it wasn’t like Zoe was going to complain about that. 

Her dad sat down to join them, frowning down at his phone when he walked into the kitchen. At her mom’s prompting, Zoe watched her dad put his phone away before greeting Hannah with a big booming dad voice and shaking her hand while clapping his other hand on her shoulder. Zoe wished he would chill the hell out. Be less… Larry Murphy, super dad. It creeped her out. It was like he was trying to pretend he hadn’t spent a decade and a half screaming at her brother to clean up his act. Morphing into some kind of Mr. Brady bullshit. 

“Would you like some bacon, Hannah?” Zoe heard her mom ask.

“No thank you,” Hannah said, perfectly pleasant. 

Zoe heard her dad make a lame joke about bacon putting hair on your chest, and Hannah laughed, a little awkward, because… she didn’t want a hairy chest. Still maintaining a polite smile, Hannah said, “Sorry, I’m… I’m Jewish? I don’t keep strict kosher, but I don’t really eat pork.” She smiled harder, biting her lip a little, and Zoe watched her mom and dad look at Hannah like she was an alien and Zoe thought that was _ awfully fucking rich _ considering that her mom had tried to be a Buddhist for a year, when Hannah added, “It smells amazing though. Thank you.”

Zoe watched her mom’s smile sort of wrinkle awkwardly. “So. Is this your first Christmas then?” 

Hannah finished chewing and nodded. “Yes. My family typically gets Chinese and goes to the movies. My brother really likes having the time off of school? But he always forgets that stores are closed on Christmas day, and almost every year he ends up needing something.”

Zoe watched her mom give Hannah a tight smile. “Is he younger?”

Hannah nodded. “He’s a junior in high school now.”

“Thinking about colleges then?” Zoe’s dad asked. Jesus, they really didn’t lay off, did they?

Hannah shrugged. “Not sure. He’s… School isn’t really his favorite thing, honestly? He ended up joining Academic Decathlon though? That’s where kids like...take tests competitively? They have to have at least three C-students on the team.” She cleared her throat. “He might go to a community college or something. I’m not sure.”

Zoe’s dad’s smile was… She didn’t know. Weird. “So you’re the studious one?”

“Totally,” Hannah said, smiling at him. 

“Hannah had a 4.0 last semester,” Zoe heard herself announcing and… Hannah’s ears went red beside her. “She’s, like, genius smart. Way smarter than I am.”

Hannah choked on her orange juice. She coughed a few times, then wheezed, “ _ Babe _ .”

Zoe’s mom got up from the table suddenly. “I need to go… straighten up the living room,” She said. “Evan’s coming over later.”

“You made me help clean the living room yesterday,” Zoe said sharply. “I had to dust everything and wipe down the tables with that organic cleaner that smells like lemon scented feet.”

“Well. I want to… vacuum the curtains.”

Her dad appeared to be sensing tension, so he said, “I’m making a run to the liquor store. You kids need anything while I’m out?”

_ A new family,  _ Zoe thought bitterly. Hers was embarrassing the hell out of her. “Maybe get some more wine,” is what she said. And thanked every possible god that at the very least, her parents let her drink in the house. 

“Got it. Wine and… how ‘bout you, Hannah? Beer, liquor?”

Hannah’s eyes met Zoe’s briefly. “Whatever you’re already getting is fine with me, Mr. Murphy. I’m not picky.”

“Alrighty then.” He waved them off and headed out of the kitchen to the attached garage.

Zoe had never in her entire life heard her father use the expression “alrighty then.” She wondered if they had been replaced by clones overnight or something because for fuck’s sake. 

“I’m… so sorry,” Zoe said. 

Hannah smiled. “I remember the first time I met a lesbian. I think I was the same way.” She looked thoughtful for a second. “Might have been because I wanted to make out with her though.”

Zoe reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze. Hannah squeezed back gently. “Would it be better if I took that nap now? Give you some time to like… I dunno. Relax a bit?”

Zoe smiled at her. “I’m a little afraid I’ll get into it with my mom.”

Hannah reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind Zoe’s ear. “I brought earplugs,” She said, smiling a little. 

Zoe wanted in that second to blurt out how much she loved Hannah, but that seemed like… an unfortunate time to say so. So instead she asked if Hannah wanted any sweats to change into, and when she said no, sent her upstairs. “I’ll wake you up in like an hour?”

“Sounds perfect.” She winked at Zoe. “Still hoping for that belated Hanukkah gift.”

“Upstairs, now.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Zoe cleared away the plates from breakfast, loading up the dishwasher while grumbling under her breath about the freakshow her parents were turning this holiday into. 

Times like this made her miss having a sibling around. At least Connor’s was enough of a mess that the focus wasn’t always solely on her. She could always count on him for a distraction. If he were still alive, Zoe probably could have shaved her head and joined some kind of cult where they dropped acid every day and her parents wouldn’t have worried about her at all. “She’s just expressing herself,” Zoe could picture her mom saying. “We all experimented in college.”

Zoe started the dishwasher and then walked into the living room where her mom was, in fact, vacuuming the curtains. 

“I was thinking we’d go to the four o’clock mass at St. Benedict’s,” Her mom said, shutting off the vacuum. “That way we’ll be home by five, five thirty at the latest, and I’ll put dinner in before Evan gets here.”

Zoe frowned. “Mom, when’s the last time we even went to church?”

Her mother looked at her, annoyed. “We went on Easter.”

“Yeah, like,  _ four  _ years ago,” Zoe said. “I didn’t come home for Easter last year.”

“I know, but your father and I did.”

“Bullshit you did,” Zoe scoffed. “We don’t have to do the whole perfect family song and dance, mom. It’s not convincing.”

“I’m not doing that,” Her mother said. “I just…” She sighed. “The ladies in my grief group…”

“Oh here we go,” Zoe shouted, losing her temper. “Tell me, what do they say now? Am I ‘acting out’ again? Does dad need to cry more, stop golfing? What’s  _ grief group _ got to say?”

Her mother frowned. “I was just saying that at our last conference, a few of us went to church together and it was… nice. I felt better afterward. I think we should start going again, as a family.”

“I live in Vermont.”

“When you’re home then.”

“Fine,” Zoe said, giving up. “Just… you don’t have to guilt me into it, okay? You could have just said you felt better after going. You don’t have to trot the grief ladies out to get me to do what you want.” She sighed. “I’m going upstairs.”

* * *

 

Hannah straightened her tie. It was a skinny black floral thing, and she wore it with a pair of khakis and a blue button down. 

Zoe walked into the guest room in a dark green dress. She looked really really nice. Her hair was curled and she’d done her makeup and. 

Damn she was beautiful. 

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“How do I look? Think this is an appropriate outfit for your dude’s birthday?” Hannah asked, holding her arms out. 

Zoe grinned. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Zoe! Come on, we’re going to have to stand if we don’t go now!” 

“Shall we?” Hannah asked, offering Zoe her arm, all proper and dandy and silly. Zoe snorted and took her arm. Hannah made a big deal over walking her down the hall, all the way to the stairs, where Hannah spotted Mr. Murphy frowning at his watch. She patted Zoe’s arm, then dropped her own. Zoe hurried down the stairs, sighing. She handed over Hannah’s jacket and they headed out the door. 

Hannah sat in the back with Zoe, and Mr. Murphy drove. He turned on a station that played cheery Christmas songs. Mrs. Murphy was leaning her head against the passenger side window. Hannah could see in the reflection that she was wiping her eyes. 

Holidays were hard, Hannah knew that. 

Zoe reached over and took her hand. Hannah gave it a squeeze. 

By the time they walked into the church, Mrs. Murphy’s eyes were dry. She said hello to a few women on the way in, but she never stopped. 

“Cynthia! Larry!” 

Zoe paled, and Hannah stopped looking over at her. Zoe’s eyes were fixed on a pale old man in white robes who was clasping her mother’s hand. He was smiling, but Hannah recognized the look. 

“I haven’t seen you in ages. How are you?”

“We’re… doing a lot better. Thank you, Father.”

Zoe tugged on Hannah’s sleeve, leaning over saying, “He did Connor’s funeral.”

Hannah nodded, and took Zoe’s hand. 

She was a Jew in a Catholic Church, but that wasn’t going to stop her from holding her girlfriend’s hand if she needed it. 

“We should go find a seat,” Mr. Murphy said, shaking the priest’s hand. “Good to see you again.”

“Good to see you  _ back  _ at church.”

Zoe met her dad’s eye as they followed Mrs. Murphy into the chapel. “Asshole,” Mr. Murphy muttered before dunking his fingers in a bowl of water and crossing himself. “Don’t know why she wanted to come here.” 

Zoe mimicked her father with the water and the crossing and Hannah wished she had thought to google what to do as she followed the family of three inside. The Murphys all genuflected on their way into the pew. Hannah grabbed a seat and watched the three of them pull down a kneeler, kneel, and bow their heads in unison. 

Hannah looked around. The inside of the church was pretty similar to the synagogue she and her family attended. There were pews and books and a stage up front. After a while, people stood up, and started to sing… many of them were looking into the books on the backs of the pews. It all felt pretty… typical. 

The kneeling felt a little unusual, and Hannah relied on Zoe to sort of lead her around the order of standing, sitting, and kneeling. A lot of people didn’t seem to know the words to the various responses to what the priest said, and Hannah had to cover a laugh with a cough when an older man sitting in front of her loudly declared “AND ALSO WITH YOU” while the rest of the congregation murmured something like “and with your spirit.” 

Hannah recognized one of the prayers they said, because she had read it in an English class once to demonstrate the change from Old English to modern English. Zoe held hands with her dad when that happened. Then everyone shook hands, which Hannah joined in on because she doubted she was breaking any rules by shaking people’s hands. Most people said “Peace be with you,” and Hannah… said Merry Christmas. And Zoe smiled at her. Then leaned over to whisper that Hannah should just hang out in the pew during the Communion line. 

Hannah nodded. 

She watched the whole process of people eating little circles of bread and taking sips of wine and felt compelled suddenly to ask Zoe if she planned to have a family and if that family would be religious. 

The whole mass thing took about an hour, and then Mrs. Murphy was rushing them back to the car because she was concerned about getting dinner on the table on time for Evan. 

Hannah bumped Zoe’s knee with her own. “Okay, so maybe I’m a  _ little _ jealous.” 

“Sorry. I don’t know what her problem is.”

Hannah smiled at her. It wasn’t Zoe’s fault. “Did he hang the moon or something?” She whispered to Zoe. “He seemed pretty great, but…”

Zoe was glowering at her mother. “Just some compulsory heterosexuality bullshit again. 

Way to go mom.” 

Hannah made a mental note to thank her own mother later. Her mom wasn’t perfect, but at least… at least she wasn’t trying to force Hannah to be someone else. The bat mitzvah dress had been the last straw. Hannah thought her mom probably saw how uncomfortable the dress made her and didn’t push the issue again. 

Parents shouldn’t try to make their kids into something they weren’t.

* * *

 

Zoe practically flew to the door when she heard a knock around six. She threw open the front door and practically hauled Evan inside, saying, “Thank god you’re here. Mom’s being super weird, she might start acting normal when she sees you. She still thinks the sun shines out of your ass.”

Evan rolled his eyes, saying what a great mental image that is, and Zoe waited anxiously while he said hello to Hannah. She thought Evan liked Hannah, but after the disaster Hannah’s visit had been so far, Zoe… needed confirmation. Somebody important in her life had to like her girlfriend, right? Like, statistically? 

Hannah and Evan did a quick and semi-awkward exchange about Hannah being Jewish and Evan getting her a Christmas gift, but in general, it was pretty painless compared to the whole Our-Daughter-Is-Heterosexual-She-Just-Doesn’t-Know-It song and dance her mom had been doing since the morning. 

Zoe felt herself relax just a little. Evan was safe. He gave a shit about what actually made Zoe happy. 

She asked after Evan’s mom, and he described the Cold War of groceries brewing back at the Hansen household, courtesy of Evan’s super fancy job with DYAD.  “Speaking of fancy DYAD jobs,” Zoe said, smiling over at Hannah. “Guess who scored herself an internship?”   


Hannah smiled, and Zoe could tell Hannah was proud of herself, and that made Zoe’s heart nearly explode with pride. Especially when she heard Evan congratulate Hannah. Evan seemed a bit… surprised about the news, but he smiled and congratulated Hannah and they talked all nerdy about doctors and genetics theories and Zoe honestly tuned them out a little bit because she was too focused on the bubble of happiness growing in her chest that Hannah and Evan weren’t just playing nice for her benefit. They seemed to actually like each other. 

Thank fucking God. 

Zoe thought she might actually start tearing out clumps of her own hair if this day got any weirder. She pointedly ignored the way her mom lost her ever loving mind over the fact that Evan was there, instead deciding she needed to count to ten, slowly, before the next thing she said came out all twisted and passive aggressive. She refused to sink to her mom’s level. She refused to turn into some other, meaner person in front of Hannah. 

One. Two. Three. 

Her parents had tried this on Connor when they were little because he used to throw these huge tantrums and once it got them thrown out of a Chuck E. Cheese. Zoe remembered her mom trying to be soothing, saying “take deep breath and count to ten” and instead he took off running and knocked a stuffed animal out of another kid’s arms. 

Four. Five. Six. 

Zoe tried to coax herself into thinking of happy things. Like Janelle Monae and glitter nail polish and how cute Hannah’s butt looked when she wore her skinny jeans. 

Seven. Eight. Nine. 

Zoe almost made it to ten.

She got so close.   


“Well, it’s good to see that bright young minds like you and Hannah are being given these opportunities,” her dad said, doing his weird uber-dad shtick, doling out fatherly advice to her fatherless friend and girlfriend. 

“Hannah’s working for DYAD as well?” Her mom chimed in. “I thought she delivered pizzas.” Her tone was deceptively light and Zoe imagined how satisfying it might be to strangle her mother with one of her expensive pairs of Lululemon leggings. “I literally told you this morning, Mom,” Zoe said, and she genuinely felt her blood pressure spike. “Hannah’s starting work with DYAD in the New Year.” Zoe smiled at her girlfriend and very pointedly took her hand. “Hannah’s kind of a genius.”

That was a massive understatement. Hannah was a straight up, no doubt about it, brilliant. It wasn’t just that she was all into STEM and technical shit that Zoe didn’t understand; she just understood things. Zoe could rant and rave about something extremely specific to a class or an assignment, and Hannah would just… get it. And usually, she would hop in with a helpful suggestion. 

God, Zoe was proud of her. And insanely lucky to have her. Hannah would probably like, cure cancer or something. 

Zoe wrinkled her nose as her parents engaged in a short but icy cold war over what alcoholic beverage to serve their daughter’s underage girlfriend, and Hannah, smooth as you please, just smiled and said that a scotch sounded great. 

And Zoe did perk up a little when her dad asked Hannah to call him Larry. 

Zoe’s mom started back up on her bullshit a moment later though, “It’s so good to see you again, Evan, and it’s great to hear you and Zoe got to catch up a few weeks back. I think it’s really lovely the two of you have stayed in touch. You always were so good together.”   


Zoe choked on her wine, about to just lay into her mother but Evan, bless him, cut her off, saying, “The trip was last minute, but I was really glad to see Zoe and meet Hannah.” He caught  Zoe’s eye. “Zoe’s been talking about her nonstop, it was great to put a face to the name.”   


“Well, that’s terrific,” Her mom said in that same garbage chipper tone she’d been using all day. “I’m glad you got a chance to meet Zoe’s friend.”   


“Yeah, it was really great that my  _ friend _ Evan got to meet my  _ girlfriend _ Hannah,” Zoe said, her tone coming out so caustic she was surprised to see nobody was suffering from chemical burns. 

It’s dead quiet for a moment as Zoe finished her glass of wine in one long gulp. “More wine, mom? How about you come into the kitchen and help me pick the next bottle.” Zoe pulled her mother out of the room before she could protest. 

“Are you having a nice time?” Zoe’s mom inquired innocently, and Zoe set her wine glass down so forcefully she was shocked it didn’t crack. 

“Mom what the  _ hell? _ ”

Her mom frowned, but said nothing. 

“Hannah is my  _ girlfriend _ . As in, we are dating. Each other.”

“I-”

“You’re being extremely rude,” Zoe went on. 

“How? I’ve been perfectly polite all evening.”

“Yeah, to  _ Evan, _ ” Zoe said hotly. “But you’ve been a total bitch to my girlfriend, and I’m over it.”

“Language.”

“Oh for  _ fuck’s  _ sake mom,” Zoe groaned. “I’m almost twenty years old. I like Hannah. We’re together, and you can be as rude as you please, but it’s not gonna turn me straight.”

“I just don’t understand what we did to you that was so horrible that you think you need to behave this way,” Her mother said and that time Zoe did end up breaking her wine glass. She gripped the stem a little too hard. 

There was a lot of broken glass in this house today. 

Zoe turned on her heel and tossed the broken glass into the trash. “You didn’t  _ do  _ anything. I’m bi. Remember, I came out to you on spring break last year, and you said you were proud of me? Did that only count if it was in theory but not practice?”

“Look, Hannah’s a sweet girl, I just think-”

Zoe glowered at her mother. “You’re such a fucking hypocrite.”

Her mother scoffed. “How’s that?”

Zoe groaned loudly, hearing the voices in the next room quiet suddenly. “Because, when you thought  _ Connor  _ was gay, you went to the library and checked out every book on parenting an LGBT kid because  _ Connor _ was a handful,  _ Connor  _ was troubled. And now I’m trying to introduce you to someone who is very important to me, and you’re acting like I’m ruining your life by dating a girl!”

“Zoe-”

“He gets fucking everything and he’s not even here!” Zoe heard herself say.

And then wished immediately she hadn’t said anything. 

Her mom’s face went from pale to scarlet in the space of a few seconds. 

Zoe tried to backtrack. “I’m… I’m sorry. That was shitty. Just. You have to be nice to my girlfriend, okay? I really fucking like her, and she makes me happy… Don’t you want me to be happy?”   


“Of course I do,” her mom said, voice strangely high pitched. 

“Then just… be happy for me.”

“Fine. I’ll try.”

“No. You’ll do it.” Zoe grabbed a bottle of wine from the rack randomly, snatching up the corkscrew a little aggressively and opening the bottle. She went to the cabinet for a new glass, poured herself a pretty generous glass, and then poured for her mom too. Her mom prods whatever disaster she’s got in the oven, and Zoe finds herself thinking that next year she was going to rudely invite herself to Hannah’s house for Christmas. Movies and Chinese sounded way more appealing.

Zoe and her mom both frowned at each other for a moment before Zoe followed her mom back into the other room. She sat beside Hannah and took her hand, smiling as she felt Hannah instantly relax her posture beside her. “Sorry,” She mouthed at Hannah. 

Hannah just smiled back.

* * *

 

Hannah didn’t really know what Zoe had said her mom while she was in the kitchen, but whatever it was… Mrs. Murphy seemed to chill a little. Though she did interrogate Hannah a bit about her major in bioengineering… but that was more what Hannah had expected from Zoe’s parents. 

She smiled as benignly as she could and just… talked stem cells and precision medicine and all of the things that parents didn’t understand but were impressed by. 

Mr. Murphy kept smiling at her throughout. Evan nodded along a few times, and they talked a little more about DYAD and Hannah… was just. So glad he was there. 

It made her happy that Zoe had a friend like that. 

And honestly, like, Evan didn’t know her from Adam… so it was just. Awesome that he jumped in and tried to smooth out the awkwardness.

Hannah just… really liked him. She hadn’t known what to expect from him. Sometimes friendships like that could be a little… insular. Hannah had always joked that third wheeling a pair of best friends was worse than third wheeling a couple. She did her best to never hang out with just Mitch and Max, because it was like the two of them spoke a secret language. 

But Evan hadn’t made her feel weird or like an outsider. Which Hannah appreciated, especially considering how high-stress this whole holiday had been. 

When Zoe walked Evan out to his new car (which Hannah had to take a moment to marvel at because holy crap DYAD was a cushy job, damn), Hannah gave Evan a hug before he left. He seemed surprised. Honestly, Hannah was a little surprised herself. She didn’t… really dole out hugs? Pretty much she only hugged Zoe or her family. 

“Hey,” Hannah said, putting and arm around Zoe’s shoulder as Evan pulled out. “You alright?”

Zoe sighed. “Yeah. I’m sorry about… all of this.”

Hannah kissed the side of her head. “Oh please. This is nothing. My family is super dramatic.”

“Really?”

Hannah nodded. “Rosh Hashanah two years ago? My mom and her sister got into a fight over  _ bread.  _ It almost got physical. Apparently the wrong recipe was being used and my grandma got involved and my cousins and I all ended up hiding out in my grandma’s attic for three hours because it was the only place with cell reception… Really, this is  _ nothing _ .”

Zoe sighed. “Thank you.” They walked back inside hand in hand. “I really want to meet your family.”

“We’ll make it happen,” Hannah said. She just wanted Zoe to be happy. 

Normally Hannah made a point to be a polite houseguest when staying at someone else’s house. She’d probably been like trained into being nice and following rules after her friend Norah’s tenth birthday party, when all of the girls who stayed over got lectures from their parents because they had been up all night acting like brats to each other and three girls ended up in tears. 

So her intentions had been to stay in the guest room as she was told. 

But from the next room, Zoe texted her saying, “Please come here.”

So, Hannah crossed the hall like a spy in a mission impossible movie in sweats. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Zoe said, sitting up in bed. “I can’t sleep.”

“Too excited for Santa?” Hannah teased, climbing into bed beside Zoe. Zoe rolled over, tucking her head under Hannah’s chin. “Better?”

“Much,” Zoe said, sighing. “How complicated is converting to Judaism… I’m thinking for excuses to get out of Christmas next year.”

Hannah laughed softly. She kissed the top of Zoe’s head. “You gonna be okay?”

“I think so. I dunno… Family is complicated.”

“I get it.”

“Tell me something nerdy about your internship,” Zoe said. “I need to… just think about how adorable and nerdy you are.”

Hannah smiled. “Well… I’m working with a woman, Dr. Kylie McAllistair? She’s… a genius, she’s really young still and has her PhD already? She’s a geneticist and a total babe, if I’m being honest.”

“Hey now.”

“Oh you know I only have eyes for you,” Hannah says dismissively. “Anyway, the project I’ll be working on after New Year’s is this… Theoretical study of a genetic illness? Like how you would treat and cure it. I think the idea is to use it as a template to study real neurodegenerative diseases? The literature was really… intense. They have all these descriptions of projected physical and neurological symptoms. They really… designed this experiment really well. But anyway, I’m supposed to be looking at a few genetic markers that they think would, like, switch the illness on?”

“Hmm.”

“You’re falling asleep.”

“You’re comfy,” Zoe said. 

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Yes. Fuck my parents.”

“I’d rather not.”

Zoe laughed softly. 

And they drifted off to sleep. 

 

Hannah woke up early, before it was properly light outside, and crept out of Zoe’s bedroom. In the early morning light, Hannah noticed the picture frames hung up in the hallway that she had missed the day before. Hungry to spy a photo of Zoe as a little kid, Hannah slowly walked the hall looking at them. There was a wedding photo of Mr. and Mrs. Murphy; by the looks of Mrs. Murphy’s bangs, it was about the mid-90s. The next photo was of a family of four, two little chubby cheeked kids and on Mr. and Mrs. Murphy’s laps. Mr. Murphy’s hair wasn’t gray yet. Little Zoe was in a pink poofy dress, her wispy baby hair closer to red than it was now. There was a lopsided clip with a flower on it settled among the baby’s curls. On Mr. Murphy’s lap there was a little boy. Hannah realize that he must be Connor; they had put him in a little vest and dress pants. He had a little-kid bowl cut; Hannah thought she had rocked the same style when she was about four. 

They all looked happy, normal. It was a cute picture. Mrs. Murphy’s eyes looked brighter.

Zoe at a dance recital, Zoe, no older than ten, holding a guitar with a huge smile on her face. Zoe dressed up as Hermione Granger for Halloween; it looked like Connor was beside her, dressed as Harry Potter. They had wands and little Hogwarts robes. There were more and more photos in the hall, but Hannah noticed that there weren’t many others of the little boy. He seemed to drop out of the photos about the time Zoe hit puberty. Hannah knew Connor had been seventeen when he died, but Zoe said he had been troubled for a long time. 

She couldn’t imagine losing Daniel. 

Or rather. She couldn’t imagine surviving that. 

Zoe was so damn strong. Hannah didn’t understand how she could still be positive and happy and wonderful. 

“Good morning!”

Hannah almost jumped out of her skin, turning to look at Mr. Murphy. He looked significantly less put together this early in the morning. Hannah was suddenly very aware of the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra. She crossed her arms over her chest, saying, “Good morning.” She cleared her throat. “Merry Christmas, sir.”

“Thank you,” He said. He smiled, eyes traveling to the photos Hannah was looking at, and it turned gradually into a frown. “Can I make you some coffee?”

Hannah had sort of hoped to catch another hour or two of sleep, but Mr. Murphy had been… She liked him. Hannah could tell he was trying really hard to be welcoming and kind to her. So she smiled and nodded gratefully, saying that she would love some coffee. “I’ll be right down,” She said. “Just want to… grab a hoodie.” She might like Mr. Murphy, but she wasn’t ever going to be cool with the prospect of him spying a nipple through her t-shirt. 

She grabbed a black zip hoodie, pulling it on and zipping it up, before she walked downstairs into the kitchen. 

Mr. Murphy set a cup of coffee down at the kitchen table. “Milk, sugar?” 

“Sugar, thanks.” 

Mr. Murphy set a mason jar full of sugar cubes on the table as well. 

Hannah put her hands around her mug, trying hard not to yawn. 

“So,” Mr. Murphy said, turning and smiling. “DYAD, huh? Are you getting excited?

Hannah nodded, smiling. “I am. It’s an incredible opportunity.”

“It is,” Larry said. “Working with them can be very rewarding. A lot of smart students like yourself have gone on to really exciting careers.”

Hannah nodded. “I was doing some research on some alumni of their internship programs the other day? It’s… intimidating, honestly.”

“It’s really a life changing opportunity,” Mr. Murphy said, but his smile was tight and there was something sad in his eyes. “Really life changing.”

Hannah looked down into her coffee cup. “I was asked to sign a… pretty intense confidentiality agreement.”

Mr. Murphy nodded, smiling blandly. “Pretty standard. They do work on a lot of highly classified science.” He met Hannah’s eye. “As an attorney, I feel like I should remind you that the agreement you signed includes… partners.”

Hannah blinked in surprise. “Of course. I know.”

“You seem like a good kid,” Mr. Murphy  went on. “And I can tell that you. You care about Zoe very much.”

“I love her,” Hannah said. Almost defiantly. 

Mr. Murphy smiled. “So do I. Zoe has had a difficult  time over the last few years. And… I want her to be happy. Safe and happy.”

“So do I, sir,” Hannah said. 

“Larry. Please.”

“Larry.”

He rubbed his forehead. “I just. I hope that we  _ understand _ each other. Zoe… deserves to be happy.”

Hannah frowned. Something about this… didn’t sit well with her. But she nodded, because, above all, she did want Zoe to be happy. And safe. Hannah made a mental note to ask Evan if Zoe’s parents had given him a similar talk when he took his internship. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Fall Out Boy's "Yule Shoot Your Eye Out." The clone AU and some of the dialogue belong to @vinegar-and-glitter.


End file.
